So many people say that meeting your child is finding love – true love – for the first time. I used to poo-poo those people because I had true love. I loved my husband truly and dearly. I loved my cat madly. I loved my crazy out-there family and I LOVED my Prada backpack 😉

But now that I am a mother, I finally know what all the fuss was about. I understand what it meant to find love that I never knew before – but not in the way I thought.

No amount of birthing diminishes any of my former loves in any way. No amount of new found new born bonding lessens the people I cared for and held dear before. But becoming a mother did introduce a new love to me, one I never thought possible.

When I look at my child, I am filled with the universe. Where as before I could only see the sky, and was always happy and content with that, I now have a rocket ship strapped to my insides that wooshes every time I kiss his little face.

I see Husband in his dimpled hands, his nose, his chunky thighs, his barrel chest. I love Husband even more, seeing him in this creature we made together and feel that I am eternally bonded to the man who held my hand and walked me to the most precious gift ever. I loved Husband completely before, but now I love him in a Christmas Morning kind of way every day.

I feel my pet – the fur child – affected and displaced by the new burping, drooling, leaking mound of softness on my lap. And yet my cat sits and watches with sleepy eyes, waiting his turn to grab a moment for cuddles when that lap is free. It doesn’t happen that often, but when it does, I can’t help but love my cat SO MUCH for his willingness to let me mother Kye first, and stroke him second.

I always loved my family and knew that would never change, but somehow, now knowing that I would throw myself on a train track for my child – my mom loved me like that. My mom, who worried and fussed and irritated and scolded, was doing it all because she would have died for me. My mom looked at me the same way I look at him, and I understand. My love for her hasn’t changed, but it sure has turned a deeper shade of red.

Lazy weekend mornings which used to be spent in bed with my love, are now spent in bed with my love and the product of our love. It just gets better and better!

Lastly, I never shied from a good glass of pink, crisp bubbly. But suddenly, when all the stars align and I have put in the scheming and planning of an international art thief – that glass of champagne I now have when my little man is sleeping with a full belly and a head of lullaby dreams – that glass is the best thing I have ever tasted, even though I have had the very same glass a thousand times before.

I LOVE my life – my former life – and each glimpse I get into that former life, be it wearing a fabulous pair of heels, or sweating it out at the gym, or popping down to the shops for milk and apples, or writing a blog, or packing to go away for the weekend…that life though harder to attain is now so much more precious to me.

Because everything with Kye is fuller. Everything is more meaningful. Everything comes with more determination and everything holds a reward I truly earned. Love is love with a few more years experience.

I love my little boy for flipping my world on its axis this way. I love him for the parallel universe I now live in. I love him like I never knew it was possible to love.

Pami-sign